gelatin silver print, 7 15/16 x 9 15/16 inches
This was the song one of my exes used to listen to in order to remind her of me. It was a long distance relationship, and we had our weekends together, but that was it. Sundays were always our best days, as that was the days we grabbed onto and fought every minute of every hour trying to stretch our day, because we knew that we would soon not be beside each other again for sometimes a month.
She killed herself this week, and I can’t say why or how but every inch of me has been in pain since I found out. She hasn’t been a part of my life for almost 3 or 4 years. But she was every dream, every hope, and every breath for at least a year of my life and now all of those dreams, all of that hope and all the breath I tried to breathe into her life has crashed down and I am left feeling nothing but a giant void where all of my memories of her now sit knowing I’ll never be able to add to them.
She was beautiful, intelligent, thoughtful, and could be incredibly ruthless and horrible at times as well. But she was mine, and I was hers and we had our sundays, even if we weren’t together anymore.
She was the first person I said I love you to, and I am horrified with the thought that she may have left us thinking those words were passive rather than active. I will always love her, and cherish my time with her.
Bomb in Eibar during Spanish Civil War.
O’Donnell street, Eibar, Gipuzkoa, Basque Country. Date 1937